Workbook A
Practical contact
For belongings, shared costs, housing, children, schedules, or another time-sensitive responsibility.
Open the practical contact workbook →A private contact-decision workbookBefore you contact an ex,
Before you contact an ex,
map the decision.
When a message feels urgent, this site gives you a quieter structure: name the purpose, check the boundary, plan for silence, and choose one next step you can stand behind.
What this is for
A practical pause—not a prediction.
This workbook cannot tell you whether someone will reply, reconcile, or feel a certain way. It can help you slow down long enough to separate a genuine practical need from hope, anxiety, loneliness, or a reaction to something you saw online.
01 · Name the purpose
What needs to happen?
Practical contact, a repair attempt, a boundary, and a wish for reassurance are different conversations. Start by naming the real one.
02 · Check the boundary
Is contact welcome and safe?
A good draft cannot override a request for space, a block, coercion, fear, harassment, or an unsafe situation.
03 · Plan for the answer
Could you respect silence?
Making room for a delayed reply, a brief reply, or no reply helps you choose a message without trying to control the outcome.
Your privacy
Your answers stay in your browser.
The Contact Decision Map does not create an account, send a message, or store the answers you choose. It creates a private plan on your device that you can print or save as a PDF if it helps.
This is a reflection tool for general information. It is not therapy, diagnosis, legal advice, crisis care, or a substitute for local professional support.
If safety is part of the story, stop here.
If there has been fear, threats, stalking, coercion, violence, or you feel unsafe, do not use a relationship workbook to decide contact. Start with the specialist resources on the support page instead.
Open safety and support resources →Three scenario workbooks
Choose the situation—not the perfect sentence.
Each workbook is built around a different decision. They include a purpose check, practical constraints, a private worksheet, and a clear point at which not sending a message may be the better choice.
Workbook B
When they asked for space
For a request for distance, a block, a vague boundary, or the urge to “just check in.”
Open the boundaries workbook →Workbook C
One repair attempt
For a considered message when contact is not clearly unwelcome and you can accept any response.
Open the repair-attempt workbook →How this site is made
Clear limits are part of useful advice.
The tools are designed as original reflection exercises, not as tests that claim to know another person’s motives. We cite support resources where safety or wellbeing may be relevant, describe our method, and identify the publisher. Read the method and privacy note, source context, or editorial policy.